No Sweeter Name

The night was dark. The kind of darkness that cripples, inducing more and more fear the further you walk. I couldn't see my hands, I couldn't tell where I was walking, I didn't know if the next step would send me falling into oblivion. So, I took my time. I yelled and I cried for the light to come. I screamed as nothing was felt before me.

I looked behind me, nothing.

Beside me, nothing.

In front of me, nothing.

Nothing but the horrible darkened emptiness.

He told me that he would guide me, but I felt nothing.

Nothing told me that he was there. No hand was felt guiding my frame along the path less taken.

I chose this path because he said there was blessing.

Blessing!

There is no blessing, no strength, and no light.

When the decision was first made, I had heard music up ahead and had seen light and I listened to the blissful sound the brass pumping out glorious melodies. I had heard the plinking of the piano in scores and measures I could have never imagined and I was at ease.

And then it stopped, the music was silenced, and I haven't been able to see since then.

I began shouting into the emptiness.

“ Haven't you have seen me fumbling in this darkness. Aren't you watching me suffer? Don't you see the fear within my soul, don't you? And I took this road because of hope. I took this road because of promise. I took this road because of blessing. I took this road because of life.

“I made this decision so that I might live!”

I scream, my voice breaking and cracking as tears begin to stream down my contorted face.

“This doesn't feel like life!” I sob, my frame sinking down onto the stolidity of the floor.

The sobs overtake her weary being, moving her body in fierce trembles, they made her hands quiver and her voice shake.

She was under attack. The daggers of betrayal, the nuisances of this path, the thorns of disapointment, the darkness of this path dug itself into her flesh.

And then the darkness began to whisper.

You will not live. Death is imminent.

Maniacal laughter.

This was a horrible decision, a mistake, and he made you make it!

He hates you.

Hates you.

You could've chosen me, I would've loved you. I would've helped you along the wide path. Sure there would’ve been thorns, but that's life.

No rest, no peace, no blessing.

Hell. That's what this is.

I should've chosen the other path.

Perhaps, if I turn around now...I could...?

The whispers continued to pierce through the silence.

Ha! You think that you'll get out.

You won't.

A pause.

Well, perhaps I could make an exception. Just for you...

I could help you out.

Those words sounded so sickeningly sweet, they oozed and dripped with manipulation.

But I, in my weary state, heard them and wanted to feel them.

The instructions that followed were simple.

Turn right, you won't be able to see until you get on my path. But once on my path, I will open your eyes and you shall see.

Then I will play music for you, and cloth you with my robe. I will pull you out.

They sounded so good and they were exactly the words that I had longed to hear for so long.

Yet something about it seemed wrong.

I stopped where he told me to turn right, and all I heard was screams. Screams that sounded very similar to the ones that I had just voiced.

“He said he'd help me!” I heard a woman cry.

“They said it'd be worth it!”

“Where's the happiness I was promised?” A man’s voice.

“What blessing? All I see is darkness!”

I broke down again.

There was darkness on that road, too.

Where do I turn?

What do I choose?

The road I've walked on for so long is dark.

The road he offered is filled with screams of sorrow, betrayal.

There was no place to turn.

No where to go.

No light to guide.

“Jesus.” I whisper. “Jesus!” I cry. “Jesus!” I scream.

It was then that my heart calmed, then that I realized that all this was fleeting.

Then that I remembered his promise to me.

“My daughter. This path will be dark and filled with hills, valleys, occasional darkness, blindness, weakness, and sickness. But, in the midst of it. Remember my name. Remember that from dust I made you, from dust I breathed life into you. From your wonderful beginning, I have sustained you. Remember these things when this road becomes narrow and dark. Remember these things upon the temptation of darkness. Remember the music and the choirs that I promised you – they will always be there. Remember the hands I promised would guide you – they will. Remember the strength I promised to give to you – I will. It's the road less traveled for a reason, but, the ending is worth more than gold. There is no sweeter name than mine. Call upon my name. Use “Jesus” and remember what I have promised you.”

-

Hands reached down, I could feel them pressing on my back, guiding me away from the path of destruction and screams.

Strength was fused into my weary muscles.

Peace filled my soul, and happiness filled my being.

The road was dark but I could feel the light helping me to press on.

When the light finally came, it was because of his name.

And when my eyes adjusted to the brilliant rays of it, I realized that there had been a tattoo written on my hands.

A constant reminder of the night, of the darkness, and of the pain.

But also, of the light, and of the name.

-

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. I promise.

Yours forever, Jesus.