Words and pictures. Words and pictures.
Mere scratches of the pen, a mere click of the lens.
He never told me they would be this hard.
He certainly never told me how much it would hurt to stand so far away and want to be so close.
He never told me the ache that would fill my soul as the distance between so close and far away remained.
The words remain on the tip of my tongue - so much to say, not enough time to say it.
So much courses through my mind when the distance is long and large and doesn’t promise that it will grow smaller.
Of course, these things happen.
Of course, I never charted it to in my funny, little, overactive mind.
Of course, there is more than this.
Of course.
I know that.
But it still hurts, all the same.
I still cry just as much.
My head still aches when distance is evident.
My heart still hurts, as the ache turns to salt in my lids.
My lip still trembles as I try to hold that ache-y saltiness back.
My knees still shake as I try to hold myself up.
Words and pictures. Words and pictures.
Mere scratches of the pen, a mere click of the lens.
They sure do hurt when used a certain way.
-
Fire, ice, ache, hurt, tears.
They’re nothing to me, my love.
I created and I control them.
I look at the darkness, I see it next to you.
A certain darkness is needed to see the light.
But, look!
Up!
Here I am, my darling.
I am here.
Yes, that’s it.
Sit upon my lap. My chest is strong for you to lean against, my ears are ready to hear, my hands are ready to fix.
Show me your hurt, daughter.
I am here, my darling.
Don’t try to lift yourself up - it’ll never work. The arms you use for hoisting are easily wearied and hard to strengthen unless they are strengthened through me.
I know because I made them.
Fearfully and wonderfully, I breathed life into your being.
I will carry you, strengthen you, and sustain your feeble frame.
Don’t try to stop the tears - they’re beautiful, and I’ve counted them all.
You feel alone, but you are not.
From where I stand, from what I see, you are surrounded by the heavenly courts, for you are mine.
My protected, my own.
I have made you.
I will carry you.
I will fight for you.
I love you.
You need only be still.
